I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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