I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
