You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
