After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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