road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We need to feng shui this bitch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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