Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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