Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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