If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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