I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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