She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
