At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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