I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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