Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Randomize
