I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
