Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
