she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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