Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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