So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
