So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What a dumb baby whore.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
