she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize