So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
