I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
