Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
