I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
