i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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