i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
