so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
