you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
