I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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