I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize