Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
