did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
