She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
