I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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