i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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