thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
why is half of my head shaved?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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