mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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