I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
