So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
