Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
