I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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