At least make sure they are 18
Why
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize