And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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