hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
