wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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