id be glad to
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
