It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I love you.
Bad choice
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