i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
