No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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