thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize