bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
