the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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