i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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