highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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