finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
