Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
