So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
