dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
