Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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