haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
