I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
time to smoke my breakfast
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
