yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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