someone get that fucking seahorse.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
